i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
