If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
