Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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