how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
