There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
