I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
