If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
