Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Randomize
