we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
