he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
