I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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