Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
ok first of all what the fuck
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
