I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
