Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just found a bag of teeth...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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