I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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