i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
