dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
