Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
