No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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