He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i now understand why vodka
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
