can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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