you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
