somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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