spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
