I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize