I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
