Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
