I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize