New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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