When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize