If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
