I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
