VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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