guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize