I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
