Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize