Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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