Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
