Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
