Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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