No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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