Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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