I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
