Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize