my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She tied me up with her honor cords...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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