Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
