I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize