wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
