I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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