So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
