how can u be prego again
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
