Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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