Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
