you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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