i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
