I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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