you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
