Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
