Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I cannot find my penis.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
