I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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