I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
