I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
