Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She bit a glass in half.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
