ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
pray to the hookup gods
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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